By Marini Uba
Day 121:
This is fine. This is absolutely fine. There’s no law that says you can’t date someone after a break-up. I can do it. There’s no reason for me not to do it. I’m doing it. I’m going to have a lovely date next week and Eliza will finally stop bugging me about this mystery guy.
Day 129:
I regret everything. I should have stayed home and told Eliza to stop trying to arrange dates for me. I’m a nervous wreck, and I have absolutely no business being so jittery in a Starbucks. My hands are shaking, I can’t focus, I don’t know what this guy looks like, and showed up 45 minutes early because I thought I was running late. I can’t even remember the guy’s name. Nothing about this is going to go well.
Was dating always this hard? The last time I had to do something like this it felt so easy and natural. I pulled on some random sweatshirt and lounged, and today I spent nearly an hour finding the outfit that best said “I’m not trying to impress you, but I’d appreciate any compliment you can give.”
Oh my god, he’s early. He’s 15 minutes early. Why is he so early? Oh god, what’s his name? Ah, he’ll probably recognize me, right? It’s not like there are any other girls with blue hair in here. If he starts hitting on some other girl I’ll know I can walk out of this place without a thought on my mind. That isn’t someone I need in my life right now nor ever.
This date will be fine. He’s coming. Deep breath in. Let’s do this.
Day 130:
Arthur. His name is Arthur. He seems to be pretty nice, I guess. He wasn’t what I was expecting, that’s certain. Eliza kept going on about how adventurous he was supposed to be, but he seems like the kind of person to stay at home rather than run a marathon.
He seemed keen on getting to know me though. That’s good. It’s a change of pace. It was hard to get a read on him, but he said he was interested in veterinary medicine. He really likes dogs, which is great because Tibalt was unusually clingy with Noel. I don’t expect any different today. Still, I don’t know how I feel about him. He’s got the charm and humor, but I guess I expected more. I couldn’t tell if I actually laughed or if I was forcing it. With every logical reason in mind, I should give this guy another chance, but I don’t know if I’m ready for this. It could be a train wreck that ends with me adopting six cats. I don’t even like cats.
Update: So he texted me right after I finished this entry.
Artur: Hey, was wondering if we could meet up again. How does next Friday sound?
Me: Sure! Where at?
Arthur: The park on Grove St. Meet me there at 2
I guess I’ve got another date then.
Day 139:
The second date happened. It wasn’t bad at first, but I’m pretty sure I messed it up towards the end. He brought sandwiches and a blanket, I brought drinks and two sundaes from a nearby shop. Neither of us planned it and it was the cutest thing, but then we started talking about the food and I kept rambling like usual. He talked about where he found the sandwiches, so naturally, I brought up the person that introduced me to the ice cream shop. Then, out of nowhere, he pulled out his phone, said he had to go pick up his niece from school, then left. It was that abrupt. He said he was sorry, but how on earth am I not supposed to read into this? It’s been two days since that date and he hasn’t said a thing, and I’m just wondering if I said the wrong thing or if he doesn’t like ice cream.
I think I need to go cat shopping.
Day 142:
Update: So Arthur actually did have to go pick up his niece. He sent me a photo of her dressed like a llama for her school play, and it was absolutely adorable. Maybe I can afford to chill out sometimes. This is the most inoffensive guy possible. I need to cool it.
Day 0:
So we’re dating now. We had gone on a few more outings, and I guess I forgot about this whole “diary” that I’d only ever see when I’m upset. I finally got the courage to ask him where on earth we’re standing, and I guess I never put together that eight dates more or less cements the fact that you’re in a relationship. I… I don’t know what I was expecting to feel. Giddy? Excited? I’m not upset at all! I’m really happy that we’re making it work, and out of every random person Eliza tried to set me up with, I’m relieved I said yes to his first date out of any of them. I just thought there would be more to it than having confirmation that we’re a thing. More… fireworks and butterflies and feeling a little less anxious about trying Still, he’s a great guy. I just need to get out of my head, get out of this journal, and just enjoy what this is. Hopefully, I won’t see this again for a long while. It’s time to move forward.